Ok, I copied this from an old entry in ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
laurel_tx's LJ, so you've probably seen it before. I hadn't, so here it is.
Keeping in mind that this is all hypothetical and neverevergonnahappensoitdoesn'tmatterthatI'mmarried. Behold! The Shag List!
You are supposed to bold the ones you would shag in a heartbeat, put in italics the ones you'd probably shag with a little coercion, strike through those you wouldn't touch for a million bucks. You leave the ones you either don't know or don't feel strongly about alone and you add one celeb you'd shag to the end of the list.
Since I don't know how to do the bold/italic/strike-through stuff in LJ, and I'm too lazy to figure it out right now, I've just made comments.
1. Stephen Dorff
2. Wesley Snipes - nah
3. Denzel Washington - nah
4. Samuel L. Jackson - Great actor, bigger asshole - no way
5. Hayden Christensen - no, he's just a pup
6. Ian Somerhalder
7. James Van der Beek - *snort* no
8. Ashton Kutcher - No appeal whatsoever
9. Sean William Scott - ick
10. The Rock - nope
11. Brendan Fraser - no
12. Oded Fehr
13. John Hannah
14. Hugh Grant - He's funny, but not sexy. That'd be a no.
15. Colin Firth - HELLO???!!! Mr. Darcy!!!!! Fuck yeah!!!
16. Liam Neeson - Probably, you gotta love the accent.
17. Daniel Day-Lewis - If he dressed up in his Last of the Mohicans getup, yeah.
18. Leonardo Di Caprio - He's over thirty and still looks twelve. I'd be waiting for the cops to arrest me.
19. Billy Zane - Possibly
20. Harry Connick Jr - Yeah, Hope Floats did me in.
21. Sean Astin - No, but I like him a lot.
22. Dominic Monaghan - Again, no, but I like him a lot.
23. Karl Urban
24. Vin Diesel - Blech.
25. Paul Walker
26. Joshua Jackson
27. James Marsden
28. Shawn Ashmore
29. Hugh Jackman - Please, Sir, may I have some more?
30. Will Kemp
31. David Wenham
32. Viggo Mortensen - Hot, but not hot enough for me to get over his politics.
33. Elijah Wood - No way, he looks too much like Harry Potter.
34. Tobey Maguire - I don't fuck pretentious assholes, if I can help it.
35. James Franco
36. Alfred Molina - No, but he's a great actor.
37. Harrison Ford - BORING!
38. Sean Connery - Too old.
39. Shane West
40. Stuart Townsend
41. Richard Roxburgh
42. Ewan McGregor - Probably not, unless I got really drunk first.
43. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
44. Christian Bale - Yeah, he's a bigtime liberal, but I loved him in Little Women and he was a really good Batman.
45. Jared Leto - Ooooo, those eyes! Yeah, I'd do him.
46. Colin Farrell - He doesn't do it for me.
47. Ben Affleck - Sure, if I suddenly decided I was a lesbian. That guy's a total pussy.
48. Josh Hartnett - He's pretty, but too young.
49. Bruce Willis - No, but I'd love to hang out with him.
50. Bob Thornton - I think this is supposed to be Billy Bob Thornton. He's just too fucking weird.
51. Dennis Quaid - Nah
52. Jake Gyllenhaal - No, thank you, Mr. Bareback Mountain.
53. Patrick Swayze - Johnny! No, I don't think so.
54. Keanu Reeves - Maybe. I can't explain it.
55. Gary Oldman - Only if I could call him Sirius.
56. Tim Roth
57. Steve Buscemi - *cracks up* Would anyone shag Steve Buscemi?
58. Michael Madsen
59. Rick Yune
60. Pierce Brosnan - nah
61. Robert Carlyle
62. Jonny Lee Miller - God, no.
63. Jude Law - Hmmmm. I really want to say no, but I totally would.
64. Matt Damon - The pussy's best friend? No, I'll pass.
65. Clive Owen - Maybe, just to say I had.
66. Ryan Phillippe - I'd want to, but I couldn't do that to Reese. I freakin' love her.
67. Benicio Del Toro - No, that guy scares me.
68. Johnny Depp - Chocolat, PotC, 21 Jump Street, Gilbert Grape, Benny & June - Oh yeah, in a heartbeat.
69. Orlando Bloom - Mmmmm, Legolas.
70. Sean Bean - Yeah. Definitely.
71. Eric Bana
72. Brad Pitt - Eeeww, no.
73. George Clooney - I repeat, Eeew, no.
74. Mark Wahlberg - Marky Mark! No.
75. Jason Statham
76. Edward Norton - no
77. Ben Stiller - No, I'd be laughing too hard.
78. Owen Wilson - With proper amounts of liquor.
79. Vince Vaughn - He's nearly a foot and a half taller than me. I don't even think I COULD shag him.
80. Joaquin Phoenix - Yeah, despite his freakish vegan PETA bullshit.
81. Russell Crowe - Not if he were the last phone-hurling jackass on the planet.
82. Billy Boyd
83. Paul Bettany - nah
84. Heath Ledger - Maybe, I like him much better than his BBM counterpart.
85. Mel Gibson - nope, he's a good family man
86. Jason Isaacs - I <3 Jason Isaacs. I would shag him silly.
87. Alan Rickman - Yeah. Colonel Brandon.
88. Kevin Costner - never
89. Christian Slater - never
90. Antonio Banderas - probably
91. Tom Cruise - FREAK!!! No chance,
92. Ving Rhames - *belly laugh* There's no way on Earth I'd have sex with Marcellus Wallace.
93. John Cusack - Yes. Guilty pleasure.
94. John Malkovich - uh, no
95. Charlie Sheen - um, I fear disease too much.
96. Kiefer Sutherland - Nah, he's a big drinker.
97. Emilio Estevez - Sooner than I'd do his brother, but not high on my list.
98. Rob Lowe - No videocameras for me, thanks.
99. Matt Dillon - Meh.
100. Kevin Bacon - Double Meh.
101. Adam Brody
102. Andy Serkis
103. Alan Cumming
104. Josh Groban - Nah
105. Sean Biggerstaff - Too young, but sooo cute!
106. Zach Braff - No, he's too goobery.
107. Harry Sinclair
108. Gerard Butler
109. Marton Csokas
110. Jeremy Sumpter - NO, WAY TOO YOUNG but Meredith would love to go out with him!!!!! He's her favorite!
111. Sean Patrick Flanery
112. Cillian Murphy - Can I? Those eyes...
113. Hugh Dancy
114. Ioan Gruffudd
115. Mads Mikkelsen
116. Enrique Murciano
117. Jamie Bamber
118. Craig Parker
119. Dean Cain - Hee hee. I love Superman, but he's a maybe.
120. James Marsters
121. David Boreanaz
122. James Spader - unh-uh
123. Kevin Spacey - nope
124. Al Pacino - OLD!
125. Jim Caviezel - That is so wrong. I couldn't screw JESUS!
126. Josh Holloway - Just say the word, Josh.
127. Will Smith - No, Jada would kick my ass.
128. Matthew McConaughey - Uh, yeah, him too.
129. Patrick Wilson
130. Milo Ventimiglia
131. Jason Dohring
132. Brandon Boyd
133. Tom Welling - A little young, but possible.
134. Sean Maher
135. Tré Cool
136. Billie Joe Armstrong
137. Mike Dirnt
138. Adrienne Armstrong
139. Jason White
140. Matthew Fox - No. He's a little stiff for me.
141. Peter Sarsgaard
142. Derek Jeter - No, jocks aren't my thing.
143. Travis Fimmel
144. Michael Vartan
145. Rob Thomas - Nope, no singers. Well, one singer, but not Rob Thomas.
146. James Purefoy
147. Michael Rosenbaum
148. Jensen Ackles
149. William Fichtner
150. Patrick Dempsey - Probably not.
151. Ace Young
152. Francis Capra
153. Ryan Hansen
154. Robert Pattinson - No Hogwars students!
155. David Anders
156. Jimmy Fallon - no
157. Ralph Fiennes - no
158. Bono - he's my one singer.
Wow, looking at this list, I am a total whore. Go me!
laurel_tx's LJ, so you've probably seen it before. I hadn't, so here it is.Keeping in mind that this is all hypothetical and neverevergonnahappensoitdoesn'tmatterthatI'mmarried. Behold! The Shag List!
You are supposed to bold the ones you would shag in a heartbeat, put in italics the ones you'd probably shag with a little coercion, strike through those you wouldn't touch for a million bucks. You leave the ones you either don't know or don't feel strongly about alone and you add one celeb you'd shag to the end of the list.
Since I don't know how to do the bold/italic/strike-through stuff in LJ, and I'm too lazy to figure it out right now, I've just made comments.
1. Stephen Dorff
2. Wesley Snipes - nah
3. Denzel Washington - nah
4. Samuel L. Jackson - Great actor, bigger asshole - no way
5. Hayden Christensen - no, he's just a pup
6. Ian Somerhalder
7. James Van der Beek - *snort* no
8. Ashton Kutcher - No appeal whatsoever
9. Sean William Scott - ick
10. The Rock - nope
11. Brendan Fraser - no
12. Oded Fehr
13. John Hannah
14. Hugh Grant - He's funny, but not sexy. That'd be a no.
15. Colin Firth - HELLO???!!! Mr. Darcy!!!!! Fuck yeah!!!
16. Liam Neeson - Probably, you gotta love the accent.
17. Daniel Day-Lewis - If he dressed up in his Last of the Mohicans getup, yeah.
18. Leonardo Di Caprio - He's over thirty and still looks twelve. I'd be waiting for the cops to arrest me.
19. Billy Zane - Possibly
20. Harry Connick Jr - Yeah, Hope Floats did me in.
21. Sean Astin - No, but I like him a lot.
22. Dominic Monaghan - Again, no, but I like him a lot.
23. Karl Urban
24. Vin Diesel - Blech.
25. Paul Walker
26. Joshua Jackson
27. James Marsden
28. Shawn Ashmore
29. Hugh Jackman - Please, Sir, may I have some more?
30. Will Kemp
31. David Wenham
32. Viggo Mortensen - Hot, but not hot enough for me to get over his politics.
33. Elijah Wood - No way, he looks too much like Harry Potter.
34. Tobey Maguire - I don't fuck pretentious assholes, if I can help it.
35. James Franco
36. Alfred Molina - No, but he's a great actor.
37. Harrison Ford - BORING!
38. Sean Connery - Too old.
39. Shane West
40. Stuart Townsend
41. Richard Roxburgh
42. Ewan McGregor - Probably not, unless I got really drunk first.
43. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
44. Christian Bale - Yeah, he's a bigtime liberal, but I loved him in Little Women and he was a really good Batman.
45. Jared Leto - Ooooo, those eyes! Yeah, I'd do him.
46. Colin Farrell - He doesn't do it for me.
47. Ben Affleck - Sure, if I suddenly decided I was a lesbian. That guy's a total pussy.
48. Josh Hartnett - He's pretty, but too young.
49. Bruce Willis - No, but I'd love to hang out with him.
50. Bob Thornton - I think this is supposed to be Billy Bob Thornton. He's just too fucking weird.
51. Dennis Quaid - Nah
52. Jake Gyllenhaal - No, thank you, Mr. Bareback Mountain.
53. Patrick Swayze - Johnny! No, I don't think so.
54. Keanu Reeves - Maybe. I can't explain it.
55. Gary Oldman - Only if I could call him Sirius.
56. Tim Roth
57. Steve Buscemi - *cracks up* Would anyone shag Steve Buscemi?
58. Michael Madsen
59. Rick Yune
60. Pierce Brosnan - nah
61. Robert Carlyle
62. Jonny Lee Miller - God, no.
63. Jude Law - Hmmmm. I really want to say no, but I totally would.
64. Matt Damon - The pussy's best friend? No, I'll pass.
65. Clive Owen - Maybe, just to say I had.
66. Ryan Phillippe - I'd want to, but I couldn't do that to Reese. I freakin' love her.
67. Benicio Del Toro - No, that guy scares me.
68. Johnny Depp - Chocolat, PotC, 21 Jump Street, Gilbert Grape, Benny & June - Oh yeah, in a heartbeat.
69. Orlando Bloom - Mmmmm, Legolas.
70. Sean Bean - Yeah. Definitely.
71. Eric Bana
72. Brad Pitt - Eeeww, no.
73. George Clooney - I repeat, Eeew, no.
74. Mark Wahlberg - Marky Mark! No.
75. Jason Statham
76. Edward Norton - no
77. Ben Stiller - No, I'd be laughing too hard.
78. Owen Wilson - With proper amounts of liquor.
79. Vince Vaughn - He's nearly a foot and a half taller than me. I don't even think I COULD shag him.
80. Joaquin Phoenix - Yeah, despite his freakish vegan PETA bullshit.
81. Russell Crowe - Not if he were the last phone-hurling jackass on the planet.
82. Billy Boyd
83. Paul Bettany - nah
84. Heath Ledger - Maybe, I like him much better than his BBM counterpart.
85. Mel Gibson - nope, he's a good family man
86. Jason Isaacs - I <3 Jason Isaacs. I would shag him silly.
87. Alan Rickman - Yeah. Colonel Brandon.
88. Kevin Costner - never
89. Christian Slater - never
90. Antonio Banderas - probably
91. Tom Cruise - FREAK!!! No chance,
92. Ving Rhames - *belly laugh* There's no way on Earth I'd have sex with Marcellus Wallace.
93. John Cusack - Yes. Guilty pleasure.
94. John Malkovich - uh, no
95. Charlie Sheen - um, I fear disease too much.
96. Kiefer Sutherland - Nah, he's a big drinker.
97. Emilio Estevez - Sooner than I'd do his brother, but not high on my list.
98. Rob Lowe - No videocameras for me, thanks.
99. Matt Dillon - Meh.
100. Kevin Bacon - Double Meh.
101. Adam Brody
102. Andy Serkis
103. Alan Cumming
104. Josh Groban - Nah
105. Sean Biggerstaff - Too young, but sooo cute!
106. Zach Braff - No, he's too goobery.
107. Harry Sinclair
108. Gerard Butler
109. Marton Csokas
110. Jeremy Sumpter - NO, WAY TOO YOUNG but Meredith would love to go out with him!!!!! He's her favorite!
111. Sean Patrick Flanery
112. Cillian Murphy - Can I? Those eyes...
113. Hugh Dancy
114. Ioan Gruffudd
115. Mads Mikkelsen
116. Enrique Murciano
117. Jamie Bamber
118. Craig Parker
119. Dean Cain - Hee hee. I love Superman, but he's a maybe.
120. James Marsters
121. David Boreanaz
122. James Spader - unh-uh
123. Kevin Spacey - nope
124. Al Pacino - OLD!
125. Jim Caviezel - That is so wrong. I couldn't screw JESUS!
126. Josh Holloway - Just say the word, Josh.
127. Will Smith - No, Jada would kick my ass.
128. Matthew McConaughey - Uh, yeah, him too.
129. Patrick Wilson
130. Milo Ventimiglia
131. Jason Dohring
132. Brandon Boyd
133. Tom Welling - A little young, but possible.
134. Sean Maher
135. Tré Cool
136. Billie Joe Armstrong
137. Mike Dirnt
138. Adrienne Armstrong
139. Jason White
140. Matthew Fox - No. He's a little stiff for me.
141. Peter Sarsgaard
142. Derek Jeter - No, jocks aren't my thing.
143. Travis Fimmel
144. Michael Vartan
145. Rob Thomas - Nope, no singers. Well, one singer, but not Rob Thomas.
146. James Purefoy
147. Michael Rosenbaum
148. Jensen Ackles
149. William Fichtner
150. Patrick Dempsey - Probably not.
151. Ace Young
152. Francis Capra
153. Ryan Hansen
154. Robert Pattinson - No Hogwars students!
155. David Anders
156. Jimmy Fallon - no
157. Ralph Fiennes - no
158. Bono - he's my one singer.
Wow, looking at this list, I am a total whore. Go me!
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