Kate

I started a story inspired by a song I love by Lowen & Navarro. It's D/G interaction, of course, and it mostly disregards HBP. There is a chunk of it under the LJ cut below, along with the words to the song. I'd like opinions as to whether it sounds promising or if it's just an overdone plotline I shouldn't waste time on. It is unbetaed, so please excuse any grammatical errors that I have overlooked.

( Song )

( Snippet )

So? What's the verdict? I'll note, that while I always love to hear, "Yay! That was really great!", I appreciate friendly criticism, too.

Thanks!